i accidentally woke up at 3am and after few minutes, manged to go back to sleep again when i had this dream. a strange dream about someone that i didn’t personally know, well i know the person for sure but personally, we haven’t have any personal connection as in we’re not that close to be friends. I saw the person at work everyday but i really find it hard to talk to that person nor look at the person face nor eye’s directly. reason is… i don’t know why everytime i had a situation where we both cross paths or even being in the same area, i really can’t stay long… i had that feeling to avoid the person’s prescence…  hahaha really strange feeling. but to be honest i talked about that person a lot in a friend at work who knows that person ofcourse, i ask squestions about that person but when it comes to the point that the person actually spoke with me, i feel so odd. well, a friend who knew me for some month told me that i definitely had a “crush” with that person i was talking about. haha.. what am i? teenager? but honestly i feel that i really somehow had that feeling about that person. i pathetically visit the person’s page everyday and somewhat got some gut, i commented on one of this person’s picture. but i didn’t intently expose my feelings, well i just gave a nice comment anyway, nothing more than that.

a while, we had this very close encounter, when the person actually thanked me for commenting on his picture. i was so embarassed, like yeah a “teenager” who is being broadcasted a stalker of this person. intial reply was “ahmmm well actually ahmm ehhh,,,” it was so embarassing as in, that i tend to be very defensive of what i did. obviously i became so defensive that i told them (the person and the colleague and everyone in the place) that i was hiding or something like i don’t want other people know that i was the one who did that and the reason why i used my other account, for me to hide or something like that soooo pathetic of me… i felt so odd and nervous i guess while dealing on talking to the person and to the colleague, and yet the colleague added “who are your other most avid fun here in there office then…?” and i was like shouting inside my mind that “yeah wait!!! im not a fan or something! cut the topic. cut it out!” wahhhh!!! hahaha, what just happened really bothers me but to be honest i was a little having the “kilig” factor that i had that very close encounter to this person. as i remember, it was the fourth time that i had a conversation with the person, though for me, it was not that nice that people knew now that i was one of this person’s stalker or admirer or whatever… childish… but… it was really nice of this person to be very approachable and very gentleman, trying to be friendly to everyone. and i think the person is in a good mood that time…

hmmm… until now i still have not yet coped up with this earlier incident. haha…

yeah maybe i really had a “crush thing” on this person.

as a defense… i ONLY knew how to appreciate other people’s beauty, that is why.

i was hoping to be more friend to that person. well i can see that the person is really that friendly.

anyways good luck to me then… haha…